AEROSPACE FAILURE ANALYSIS
FOR YOUR
LANDING PAGE.
It is silent.
It's 3:14 A.M. You reach for your phone in the dark. You open your Stripe dashboard. You wait for the thrill of a "Payment Received" alert.
You see the exact same number you saw when you went to sleep.
Your ads are running. Your traffic is real. People are looking at your page right now. But no one is buying.
Marketing is a pressurized fuel system. The pressure is climbing. The seals are groaning. And your money is spraying onto the runway.
Your copy is the engine. The engine is misfiring.
Amateurs guess. Professionals measure.
"In an economy of AI slop, precision is the only remaining competitive advantage."
THE ERA OF "BEST PRACTICES" IS OVER.
The internet is drowning in AI slop. Slop destroys trust. Trust is the only currency that converts.
Your customers are exhausted. They are scrolling past the noise and the lies and the synthetic filler that bots churn out by the gigabyte.
If your copy sounds like a bot, they don't just scroll. They vanish.
Agencies will tell you to "refresh your brand." But a fresh coat of paint on a broken engine just creates a prettier breakdown.
You don't need "pop."
You need a Redline.
- Forensic Redline
- Failure Analysis
- Logic Stress-Test
- 48-Hour Fix
Click to initialize high-resolution viewer
48 HOURS. VISUAL EVIDENCE. NO MERCY.
Standard audits give you polite opinions. We run a strict Failure Analysis. You receive a visual teardown bled out in red ink.
Cut the Fluff
"SEAMLESS" GETS CUT. "REVOLUTIONARY" GETS CUT. "UNLOCK" GETS CUT.
I strip the chassis down to the frame. If a word does not carry weight, it is removed. You don't get a list of suggestions. You get a clear schematic of exactly what to fix.
Hunt the "Trust Gap"
WHERE CLARITY ENDS, ANXIETY BEGINS.
In electrical engineering, a "sneak circuit" is a hidden path that drains power. On your website, a sneak circuit is a loose word or a distracting button that bleeds user attention before they can buy.
We find the exact pixel where your buyer's trust snaps. We find the leak. We isolate the leak.
Exact Logic. No Fluff.
I DO NOT HAND YOU VAGUE THEORY.
You are running a business. You do not have time to decode vague marketing advice. I hand you a strict, mechanical blueprint. I don't just circle the problems; I give you the exact logic required to fix them. You can hand this schematic straight to your team, or you can hire us to build it for you.
The False Virtue
The one common "benefit" you must NEVER put in your headline if you sell a premium product.
The "AI Slop" Signature
The 7 specific, robotic words you must delete right now to prove you are human.
The Sneak Circuit Assassin
How to find and kill the single hidden button on your page that is secretly siphoning away your sales.
[ MEET THE ENGINEER ]
"Poetry burns on re-entry. Arguments survive G-force."
Dan Tash. Systems Engineer.
I spent years analyzing hardware where failure meant death. Not a metaphor. Hardware where "failure is not an option" wasn't a poster; it was a constraint.
Complex systems do not explode because of the main engine. They break in the boring places. The seals. The O-rings. The 20-cent bolt that destroys the 20-million-dollar mission.
YOUR BUSINESS IS A COMPLEX SYSTEM.
It bleeds at the connection points:
- → The Consistency Gap (Ad to Headline)
- → The Interest Gap (Headline to Offer)
- → The Trust Gap (Offer to Checkout)
Creativity didn't build the rocket, and creativity won't fix the leak. I find the loose bolt. I show you exactly how to tighten it.
SYSTEM WARNING:
The Conversion Diagnostic is a precision instrument. It requires a valid signal to operate.
I automatically reject the following inputs:
The "Pre-Revenue" Hallucination
You cannot steer a parked car. If you have zero sales and zero traffic, you do not have a conversion problem; you have a product problem. Do not hire me to "guess" if your idea is good. Come back when you have data to analyze.
The "Magic Bullet" Seeker
Aerospace engineering does not fix a plane with no wings. If you need words to trick people into buying a broken product, you need a magician. I am an engineer. I do not perform magic.
The "Design-First" Founder
If you care more about your font pairing than your RPS (Revenue-Per-Session), we are incompatible. I will likely recommend deleting your "beautiful" hero section because it confuses customers. If you are precious about vibes, do not initialize.
The "Passive Income" Scheme
Dropshipping, Biz-Op, and "Get Rich Quick" offers usually rely on compliance loopholes, not logic. My systems are designed for legitimate businesses building long-term assets. I do not optimize churn-and-burn funnels.
If you trigger any of these flags during the audit, I will terminate the protocol, refund your $750, and permanently close your file. I do not bill for time wasted.
DIAGNOSIS BEFORE SURGERY.
Agencies want you to sign a long-term contract just so they can "explore" and guess what is wrong.
I refuse to guess with your money.
[ THE "BLIND RETAINER" TRAP ]
An average marketing agency will demand a $5,000-per-month retainer before they even look under your hood. They lock you into a 3-month contract just to run experiments on your dime.
That is a $15,000 blind gamble. You are paying for their learning curve.
In engineering, prescribing a fix without a diagnosis is malpractice. We operate on a strict, phased protocol.
Phase 1 is the Diagnostic. It is a $750 flat fee.
It is the mandatory X-ray for your revenue. We map the exact leaks. We prove the math.
Once you have the blueprint, you can hand it to your own team to fix, or you can deploy us for a rapid "Triage Sprint" to patch your critical errors in 7 days.
But we do not touch the engine until we run the diagnostic. You wouldn't let a surgeon cut without an MRI. Do not buy traffic without auditing your logic first.
(HARD STOP)
(FLAT FEE)
(AUDIT READY)
The $750 flat fee covers the strict diagnostic audit and the visual Redline report.
But this is not a sunk cost; it is a deposit.
If you choose to hire us for Phase 2 (the 7-day Triage Sprint) to physically rebuild your critical fail-points, your entire $750 audit fee is credited 100% toward the repair.
If you fix it yourself, you paid $750 for extreme clarity.
If you hire us to fix it, the diagnostic is mathematically free.
Step one is finding the leak. Step two is plugging it.
[ THE LOGIC GATE GUARANTEE ]
Protocol: If the leak doesn't exceed the cost, the invoice is void.
I do not bill for minor repairs.
THE MATH: I identify at least $2,250 in lost revenue (3x the audit cost) hidden in your copy, or I refund your $750 immediately.
No ignition, no invoice.
Money in. Or money back.